I really love my friends and think they are very smart. However, it is really hard for me when they give me advice I disagree with, since they expect me to follow it. How can I kindly let them know that I can make my own decisions?
Looking For Advice
Dear Looking For Advice,
I certainly hope that you understand the irony of your question, but ask and you shall receive.
It can definitely be hard to stand against what your friends tell you, especially since — if they’re actually good friends — they have good intentions behind their advice. It is, however, your life and you’re the only one who can live it and know all the contexts and emotions that play into different decisions.
When someone gives you advice that you don’t agree with or want to enact, a simple statement of acknowledgement can go a long way. Saying “Thank you for the advice” or “That’s an interesting point” and then telling them that you’re choosing to go a different route is a far better option than being steamrolled by them or lying about your intentions to take their advice.
Just be upfront and honest with your friends. And if their advice stems from a condescending attitude towards you, you may have to have a deep and serious conversation about how your friendship proceeds from here.
I hope this helps!
Take it or leave it,
I really love being a UD student! My brother is a high school junior and I really want him to apply to UD. I try to tell him about what a great school it is, but he doesn’t seem to want to think about it. How can I get a reluctant student interested in UD?
Having once been a stubborn high school student myself, I can confidently say that pushing him too hard may lead him away from UD. This is a choice he’ll have to make on his own — as there are certainly few personal decisions that matter more than where you go to college — but that doesn’t mean you can’t push him in the right direction.
Depending on what he’s interested in, you could grab some informational sheets on potential majors for him. If you can, try and get him to visit on campus while school is still in session. Seeing UD students in our natural habitat can go a long way towards bringing people into our Jesus-and-groundhog-loving community.
If all else fails, send him a lot of pictures of the Rome campus. Even if he doesn’t look forward to an Art History course, the gelato is a sufficient motivation in and of itself!