Groundhog Guidance

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Groundhog Guidance

Dear Groundhog,

I am a Catholic who met this girl that I really like and we have a lot in common. However, she herself is not Catholic, but she respects my beliefs. However, I date with the intention of getting married and want my kids to be raised Catholic. How should I go about this?

Signed,

Intentional Dater

Dear Dater,

If you do choose to pursue a relationship with this girl, you should definitely have a serious conversation about faith. 

While it’s certainly not impossible for people of different faiths to build great relationships, I will say that it certainly does pose a challenge. 

I’ve seen many couples either break up or fall away from their faith because of differing backgrounds. I’ve also seen couples thrive and have successful marriages for decades with one parent informing the faith lives of their children.

I think you need to be realistic about the challenges that you would face because of this. Really think about how likely you are to keep your faith if you’re unsupported by your spouse, if you’re the only parent driving the kids to church each week.

For all you non-Catholics out there, this also goes for you. I think everyone, no matter what you believe, needs to spend time really thinking about their faith and what role you want it to play throughout the rest of your life.

I will say that relationships are hard and if your faith is a high priority for you, having a spouse who also has those same fundamental values can help you build on a more solid foundation.

No matter what, make your expectations and your boundaries clear.

You also might want to remember that you need to get a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic, so you’d need to be extra sure that this is the one and only person for you.

Pray on it,

Groundhog

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Dear Groundhog,

I can’t stop comparing myself to other students and I’m tired of making myself feel inferior! Any advice?

Signed,

Neurotic Nelly

Dear Nelly,

I totally understand. Imposter Syndrome is real and I know that you’re not the only one experiencing those thoughts. You can ask my roommates about the number of existential crises I’ve had about the same thing. 

We are our own worst critics. I guarantee that your friends and family don’t view you as inferior.

Think about what your inner voice is saying to you. If it isn’t something you would say to a friend, don’t say it to yourself! You can acknowledge a thought without letting its meaning take root in your mind.

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Yours just might look a little different than the students around you. I’d even be willing to bet that some of those same students that you compare yourself to, actually admire you.

The only thing you can do is your best. If you haven’t heard this recently, your best IS enough. At the end of the day, you are more than your accomplishments.

And besides, give yourself a break. I think it’s easy to forget that UD is harder than your average university. You rose to the challenge of facing the Core and you can certainly take pride in that if nothing else. 

Hold your head high and keep on keeping on,

Groundhog

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