An alumnus of the University of Dallas, Class of 2009 Pendus Grinster, announced the launch of “Chrinder,” a new dating app available exclusively to UD students.
“Chrinder is a Christian Tinder,” Grintser excitedly explained. “There are plenty of fish in the sea. Now we can all be fishers of men and women.”
Grinster created the app after finding his adventures of cyber dating unpredictable.
“I would go on Tinder, match with a girl, meet her for coffee and find that we didn’t have the same opinions and thoughts. I mean, she’d probably never even heard of Tocqueville,” Grinster recalled. “I created Chrinder so that I knew that I could always date, and eventually marry, a girl who was exactly like me.”
Chrinder – named so that its users can always be thinking about Christ – is in its early stages, but users get a variety of options. After creating a profile, the user indicates whether they are looking for a husband, a wife, someone they can date until they break up with them to join the seminary, or conversely, someone they can leave the seminary for.
“It’s so important to know the real intentions of the person you date,” says Mary Bins, a sophomore female user. “I feel so much better knowing that the college guy I’ve matched to is serious about his future and will marry me as soon as possible.”
After indicating the user’s commitment desires, they are not shown the pictures of their matches, they are asked, on a scale from one to ten, how much they love the Lord of the Rings. If scores are compatible, you unlock the pictures of the match.
Grinster designed the score format.
“I wanted to stay away from the physical nature of Tinder, all the judging on appearances. You really know all you need to know about a person when you know their opinion on Lord of the Rings,” Grinster said.
Next, the users can choose the location of the first date from three options: meet for Mass, go to an Old Mill party or study in the library.
“It’s really important that early dates happen in a location where little to no conversation will occur,” explains Grinster. “Meaningful glances, accidental rubs of the elbow, that’s enough to spark a relationship. Besides, dates can get so expensive.”
Jeremy Snood, a senior, says he already appreciates Chrinder after only using the app for a week.
“I indicated that I am a seminarian, looking for someone to leave the seminary for, and I was matched with an incredible amount of women,” Jeremy said. “I love the option to meet for Mass; I have been cycling through each girl to see who is most worthy.”
While users are matched based on compatible desires and Lord of the Ring scores, only men can initiate and choose the location of the first date.
But how do the female users feel about Chrinder? The previously interviewed Mary Bins was satisfied by the format, but her junior friend, Emily Snazz, was wary.
“Will this become the swipe-pocalypse?” Snazz mused. “What ever happened to meeting in the Cap bar and talking about Aristotle?”
“Emily, you are so old-fashioned,” laughed Bins as she shook her head and accepted an invitation to Mass.
Disclaimer: This is the April Fools’ edition of the paper. All stories are fictitious in nature.