Athletes hunger, bikers assist, team prevails (mostly)

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Ashley Pickert

Ace Athletic. Dramatist.

 

 

 

 

The University of Dallas softball team’s trip down to Southwestern University on March 28 was quite a bit more eventful than usual, to say the least. The trip was going smoothly and the girls napped quietly for the first hour or so. Then, the bus suddenly jolted and quivered. It ground to a halt on the side of the highway and it eventually broke down. After careful investigation, the bus driver incredulously declared that several mechanical parts of the bus were missing.

It was then that the team discovered sophomore Allison Kotlar finishing off the last piece of the steering wheel.  It turned out that Head Coach Beth Krysiak had forgotten to buy snacks. Kotlar, in search of a nutritious breakfast, had resorted to eating parts of the bus for sustenance. Disturbed but undaunted by their situation, various girls on the team modeled on the side of the road in order to flag down some help, very aware of the way their gray pinstripe uniform pants flattered their legs. A friendly group of old tattooed bikers stopped to offer their assistance. Upon realizing that the team only wanted to steal the parts from their Harleys to fix the bus, the bikers quickly tried to leave. However, sophomores Alex Compte and Ciara Stewart started a brawl, and the team got the parts they needed.

In order for the driver to install the missing parts, senior Taylor Garcia, sophomores Katie Lee, Bailey DiStefano, Compte and Stewart and freshman Christina Torre squatted the entire weight of the bus. Unfortunately, the stolen wheels of the bikes were too small to fit the enormous bus, so the team had to pull a Fred Flintstone-esque move and physically move the bus to its destination. Sophomores Avery Finch and Lyda Tesauro, Southern Collegiate Athletic Conference leaders in stolen bases, with 22 and 13, respectively, led the charge, and the bus actually moved faster without the engine. The team made it to Southwestern University in record-breaking time. With just a touch of sweat on their brows, the players were warmed up and ready to beat Southwestern.

Kotlar, however, was unable to participate in the game and spent the majority of the time moaning on the bench. It turns out that bus parts are not part of a nutritious pregame breakfast.

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