By Patricia Brennan
Nifty News Ninja
Starting this week, students and faculty members of the University of Dallas can expect to have their days considerably lengthened, thanks to the new rule released by the administration. On Monday, March 30, President Thomas Keefe announced a new university policy banning the use of abbreviations and nicknames across campus.
Starting this week, every member of the UD community will be required to use the full and proper names of classes, buildings, events and more around campus. No longer will students be allowed to commiserate over “Lit Trad.” Instead, they will discuss the works analyzed in Literary Tradition IV. Students will be expected to convey which Literary Tradition course they are referring to through the use of Roman numerals. Instructions on how to verbally express Roman numerals will be found in the student handbook. They will be placed next to the school’s alcohol policy in hopes that students will actually read it.
The majority of the campus body has expressed discontent with the new policy, and the write-ups have already increased a hundredfold, according to the Office of Student Life. On Tuesday, March 31, a West Hall resident assistant was seen attempting to give history professor Dr. Susan Hanssen a write-up for not using the proper name for American Civilization II.
The policy has also created difficulties for visiting students.
“I just don’t know what we’re going to do,” a senior student worker in the Office of Admissions admitted. “Incoming freshmen and prospective students aren’t going to be confused about classes anymore. What questions will they ask now if they aren’t wondering about the class names?”
Campus-wide confusion has erupted in light of the new rule. Study groups fail to meet as students struggle to locate Blakley Foyer, the popular study spot formerly known as “The Fishbowl.” Over half of the participants dropped out of the Freshman Admissions Volunteer program upon learning they would be hosting “prospective students” instead of the familiar “prospies” and the administration scrambled to change the prospective student visit days to “Meet Us at the Braniff Memorial Tower.” Current students have been sighted searching the Braniff Graduate Building from top to bottom.
Despite the general chaos and unhappiness around campus, some are welcoming the change gratefully.
“What is the purpose of having names as pretentious as The Philosophical and Ethical Life if we simply refer to them as ‘Phil and Eth’?” philosophy associate professor Father James Lehrberger pointed out. “Now, at the very least, people can stop asking what we are referring to when we say students are in ‘Under the Bible.’”
Other students disagree. Freshmen in particular seem to have had many struggles as a result of the new policy.
“I wound up enrolling in General Biology for next semester because I couldn’t figure out what ‘Baby Bio ‘was,” complained one art major.
“I got written up on Monday for asking about ‘West Theo Trad,’ and then I got lost looking for a party in some place called Tower Village!” moaned another student. “The next thing you know every time I say I’m going to Mass I’m going to have to say ‘I’m going to the Church of the Incarnation.’”
The no nicknames rule will also apply to faculty and staff. “Super Dave” will now be referred to as Officer LeMire and “Ms. Pati” will go by Mrs. Light.
“I didn’t know ‘Super Dave’ had a last name,” a senior said.
In typical “Raj” fashion, “Raj” of PDK Foods has decided to keep up-to-date with the university by asking to be called Mr. Luthra from now on.
By trying to clarify certain aspects of university life, the administration seems to have only caused confusion among current students. However, it refused to rescind the new policy. On Thursday, April 2, a meeting to discuss the new policy and the requirements it entails will be held in the Patrick E. Haggerty Science Center.