Matthew deGrood, Contributing Writer
In this, the seventh and final piece in a continuing series about the Lone Star State, Midwestern-born Matthew deGrood, who grew up in Amarillo but left his heart in Minnesota, brings our series to a close with the acrid thoughts of a dissenting Texan.
While it probably goes without saying, I might as well come out and admit it: I detest this state. I just cannot fathom what the source of Texas pride is. Texans are filled with pride toward a state that could be hit with a nuclear bomb and wouldn’t experience much of a change in landscape. This state is disgustingly unattractive, and I invite all who disagree with me to make the journey from UD to Amarillo; there is nothing there!
Perhaps politics is one of the few aspects of Texas less attractive than the landscape. In a strange way, Texas’ governor Rick Perry really encapsulates everything Texas is about: “George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.” While the previous quotation is from Rick Perry, it is easy to imagine any diehard Texan having uttered them. As a dear friend of mine once said, “George W. Bush got C’s at Yale. Rick Perry got C’s at A&M.” So too would the Texas political machine get C’s at A&M!
But it is not just the aesthetics and politics that upset me so. I take pride in cheap American beer, after all, so I have little room to judge others for esoteric sources of pride. No, what makes me so livid is the arrogance of Texans in regard to their state pride. Take a Rangers game, for instance. At any game you attend, you are going to see people madly waving their Texas flags. Who does this? I’m not going to attend a Yankees’ game and witness people waving New York state flags. Why not? Because this is insane behavior! The Rangers are not even the only team in Texas. This is a baseball game, not a nationalist rally!
“Don’t mess with Texas,” thousands of bumper stickers tell me. Oh, I think I will mess with Texas! Your state is ugly, your politics are irksome, and your pride reaches levels of arrogance previously unknown to mankind. Every time you don’t get your way on a national level, you tout the fact that you may secede from the Union. First of all, you have no more right to that than any other state. Second of all, I find it comical that Texans act as if the rest of the United States would miss its presence. I say we give Texas back to Mexico; it’s been a long time coming. That way Texans don’t have to deal with those darn liberals and the rest of the United States doesn’t have to deal with the arrogance of Texas. It’s a win-win situation. But, whatever the case, just get me out of this godforsaken state!