Given the news over the past few weeks, it looks like “occupying” cities and streets has become the new thing. All the cool, hip, forward-looking people are doing it. For those of you who haven’t heard, the 99 percent is finally throwing off the oppression of the 1 percent. It’s the beginning of a social revolution, apparently.
If you do not have money, that is not your fault. It is the fault of the 1 percent. You deserve that brand-new smartphone and new, shiny car. You are equal. And the economic situation you find yourself in today is the fault of someone else, not your own excessiveness.
In light of that fact, perhaps we should consider “occupying” PDK. Everyone knows that Raj has a monopoly on the University of Dallas campus. Perhaps we should camp in front of the door. We could have signs – and megaphones. The prices at PDK are definitely higher than at the 7-Eleven down Rochelle. Why not demand that PDK do business how we want it done?
Sure, it’s not truly capitalist, but we have a voice. We would be powerful as a movement. We can get cheap beer and cigarettes! All we have to do is be homeless for a while.
More and more places will continue lowering their prices around the Metroplex until the day comes that everything is almost free and we live in a utopian society. It will be a great day for the proletariat, comrades! And it all starts with the idea that we should make our economy how we want. We have the final say on PDK. So grab your tents and sleeping bags, and let’s be homeless until Raj decides to slash prices. Turkish Royals for $7 a pack? Heck no, we’ll be buying them for $2.
I have been thinking about this Occupy PDK movement for some time. It seems that the more I think about it, the more flaws I see in this masterful scheme. If we did occupy PDK, we would still have to figure out a way to feed ourselves without the help of PDK. Perhaps we could send people to McDonald’s, it’s close enough. Unfortunately, we probably couldn’t drive, because we would need gas from PDK. What’s more, PDK is kind of convenient – just a five-minute walk from anywhere on campus.
In the end, the idea sounds great but the reality of implementing it doesn’t. Sure there are better prices out there, and if you’re willing to drive three miles to save a nickel on a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of water, go for it. But maybe convenience is worth the extra pennies. As for me, I’ll take the small price increase at PDK and save the car ride down Northgate. And if you do decide to camp out, maybe you can bum a cig off of me outside the door – after all, you yourself would not be directly supporting the 1 percent.