In celebration of the mediocre

Lucy Bennett, First Scholar

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The new university publication, The Mediocre Scholar, is accepting students’ most mediocre work for publication. Photo by Marquel Plavan.

You have read the eloquent poems and well-written essays by University of Dallas students. You have seen stunning art photos and have participated in intense intellectual debates outside of the Cap Bar or on an Old Mill porch; but I have one question for you, UD: where is the mediocrity?

The Mediocre Scholar is a university publication similar to that of the University Scholar. The University Scholar is an academic journal comprised of undergraduate writings, short stories, poems and artwork, sponsored by the National Phi Beta Kappa Honor Society. The Mediocre Scholar is similar only in that it is a booklet.

Editor-in-Chief of the Mediocre Scholar Nick Van is excited about the university’s possible interest in printing mediocrity. In an attempt to persuade students to submit, he said that they should be proud rather than discouraged with their rather unexceptional works.

“I chose to create the Mediocre Scholar because I want everyone to have a chance to be published,” Van said. “In fact, I encourage all of you to write for the Mediocre Scholar. It is where wild mediocrity is no longer looked at as half-hearted. The Mediocre Scholar will take your mediocrity and praise it. Publish it, in fact.”

The editors suffered some criticism from faculty, particularly the English department, who thought that the university would compromise their pursuit of wisdom if they published works that were not up to scholarly standards. However, the scholar was eventually accepted once Van argued that this was one of his independent thoughts.

Van explains that the Mediocre Scholar uses a selective process and will by no means publish anything handed to them.

“There is no creative scholarly style. So, don’t even think about handing me a well-written essay about Virgil or Beatrice. I won’t look at it. In fact, I will throw it away,” Van said. “When I say mediocre, I mean mediocre.”

The Mediocre Scholar calls for simple and fairly understandable poems, essays with a thesis that may or may not be defended properly, especially those including the word plethora at least three times, and cute rather than creative drawings.

Christina Dean, Essay Editor for the Mediocre Scholar, believes the publication to be one of the greatest ideas a UD student has ever had.

“I was extremely excited in the prospect of editing, especially with our motto, ‘the less editing the better.’ It makes my job a lot easier and the students are not worried about over-editing,” Dean said.

“Don’t be afraid to submit,” said an anonymous submitter. “I was happy that I could turn in one of my papers that I was proud of but did not receive an A on, so I am so grateful to this publication and for my mediocre papers, because I know that the University of Dallas does not have a lot of them. We are the few, the proud, the mediocre.”

Disclaimer: This is the April Fools’ edition of the paper. All stories are fictitious in nature.

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