Praise for the powderpuff perfection

K.C. Pierce, Contributing Writer

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Junior Karmina Martinez comes out of the tunnel of powderpuffers as the upperclassmen celebrate their win against the underclassmen. Photo by Anthony Garnier.

They can’t stop. They won’t stop. The class of 2016 is officially undefeated in what is quite possibly the most renowned sporting event of the year — powderpuff football. After locking down another win this year at the annual Groundhog Powderpuff Flag Football game, this year’s seniors have become the first team in school history to have never lost a single game in their career.

Despite some questionable calls by senior coach Joe Hanretty, the girls squeaked by on sheer talent, winning the game 6-0. Imitating her hometown Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, senior Katie Wisowaty launched several bombs downfield throughout the day to help take home a final victory after a well-fought four years.

The underclassmen put up a serious fight, coming close to the goal line several times. Yet, despite their best efforts, the younger ladies could not stop the unrelenting force of the upperclassmen. The tides turned toward the favor of the upperclassmen after a beautiful pass from senior Meghan Elfelt to junior Mairin Guilfoyle late in the second half. The touchdown, which left the crowd utterly shocked, bewildered and overflowing with joy, set up the rest of the match for a true test of defensive fortitude.

With their undefeated name on the line, the upperclassmen rose to the challenge, stopping the opposing offense when it mattered most. Spectators were filled with a wide array of emotions.

“I’ve never seen such a brutal bloodbath in my sweet young life!” exclaimed freshman Benjamin Blessard.

“I really wish we could have scored just … like 61 or 63 more points,” Hanretty said with tears in his eyes and a sniffle in his nose in a deep and heartfelt post-game interview. “For the girls, you know?”

Despite the bittersweet reaction of some of the coaching staff, the upperclassmen players were absolutely ecstatic about pulling out a final victory to top off a career of sheer perfection.

“It was freaking amazing and we won ‘fo in a row’!” shouted fist-pumping senior linebacker Anna Macdonald. “Seniors forever!”

At the conclusion of the game, fans, coaches, celebrity bass players and proud alumni stormed the field to celebrate the remarkable feat of athleticism. One of the greatest Groundhog traditions had come to a conclusion, leaving the Class of 2016 with much to brag about for years to come.

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