‘Candide’ à la mode

0
359

 

 

Elizabeth Kerin

Pictorial Documenter of Frivolous Foreigners

 

 

 

 

Candide MalM WEB

Voltaire: So Candide, what is your fashion inspiration?

Candide: Well I’d have to say, Mr. Voltaire, sir, that I am inspired by my teacher, Master Pangloss, who is the best of all possible philosophers.

V: Not me?

C: Well, I mean, you’re French, and French is okay, but it’s not the best of all possible countries.

V: What would be?

C: Westphalia.

V: Not America?

C: Come again?

V: Hmm… What makes you decide to wear those clothes, Candide, son?

C: Well, Pops, I wake up in the morning and I think “What will get me the best day possible?” But then again, I don’t really worry about it because it’s not like I can choose a wrong outfit, ya know? Like no matter what outfit I choose, it will be the best outfit.

V: Well, I’m not so sure about that.

C: Okay, mister.

V: What statements are you trying to make with your clothes?

C: I think my clothes really say “Look, I’m ready to learn.” But also, “I’m lovable.” Because that’s what I want Cunegonde to think when she looks at me. I want her to feel like she can love me.

V: Do you feel like this is a sentiment that could be applied to the students at the university?  “I’m ready to learn, yet lovable?”

C: I think so. You know, the university is certainly lovable, in spite of its ready to learn-ness.

V: Well, speaking of our fantastic institution of learning, what fashion advice do you have to give to our humble student body?

C: First off, I’d say, dress modestly, but dress for action. Because you never know what you’ll run into. People underestimate how easily fights start and where you could run into battles and wars. So you just need to be ready for any sort of mishap that you could run into. And I also find that sailing happens a lot, so if you can dress for sailing in your day, it would probably be most helpful to you.

C: Well, Mr. Voltaire, sir, what do you think people should wear?

V: There’s something seriously wrong with this world when people don’t wear their hair long, like me. And the ‘60s was the greatest time in our history because people wore their hair long. Every one should wear tri-cornered hats, leggings and tights. No, [they do not have to shave their legs]. Shaving your legs is an abomination, and I believe that all people, whether they be of the male or female persuasion, should let their legs run wild.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here