Mall á la Mainstage

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Jamie Kuntz, A&E Editor

Wedding bells are ringing at the Margaret Jonsson Theater, where the University of Dallas drama department will be putting on its mainstage performance. Big Love, by Chuck Mee, tells the story of 50 sisters who have been betrothed against their wills.

In anticipation of this event, The University News has decided to conduct a series of interviews over the next few weeks to allow some of the couples to show off their unique fashions and relationships.

This week we’ll be talking to the most antagonistic couple, Thyona and Constantine, played by Erin Kleiber and Amir Razavi.

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Photo courtesy of Jamie KuntzThyona and Constantine look forward to the happiest day of their lives ... or do they?
Photo courtesy of Jamie Kuntz
Thyona and Constantine look forward to the happiest day of their lives … or do they?

JK: So, you two are newly engaged! What are you going to be wearing on your wedding day?

Thyona: I have no idea. My sister Olympia picked my dress out for me.

Constantine: My brothers and I have someone who tailors our suits for us.

 

JK: What are some of your fashion influences and favorite places to shop?

Constantine: Giorgio Armani, Express. A man has to have a sense of style and fashion.

Thyona: Fashion icons were invented by men to objectify women, so I don’t have any fashion influences.

 

JK: What is your favorite aspect of your wedding outfit?

Thyona: The slit in the dress, because it provides mobility should the need arise for me to kick butt. Also, the shoes, because you could probably kill someone with them.

Constantine: My favorite part is the jacket, because it outlines the shoulders and broad chest, which emphasize the inner and outer strength of a man.

Thyona: Men have no strength.

 

JK: Do you have any relationship advice for the readers?

Constantine: Relationships are not about relating. They are about contributing. If someone doesn’t do that, they’re dead and done for. The only gift a man can give a woman is the gift she can see or feel.

Thyona: Let me tell you something about men. Men are a biological accident – the product of a damaged gene.

Constantine: Women make the rules ­–

Thyona: Yeah we do.

Constantine: Can I finish? – and only they can break them.

Thyona: Men are always searching obsessively for any woman because he thinks that will make him a whole human being. But it won’t. It never will.

 

JK: Are there any other details about your wedding you’d like to share with the readers?

Constantine: We will be getting married pretty soon – you’ll have an opportunity to see at the Margaret Jonsson Theatre from April 4-14.

Thyona: If you think we’re getting married, you’re crazy.

 

 

 

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