In response to ‘Collective amnesia amongst the female UD populace’: The author’s argument was a good and tight one – as tight as those offensive leggings humanity so despises. Like spandex, it left almost no room for error, but like the short-shorts, her argument did not go far enough. It is quite obvious that the women of the University of Dallas are not ready for mature and safe pant-selection. Looking back upon history, it is evident that a lack of modesty among the fairer sex has contributed to the downfall of many a great society. Think of Eve and her gratuitous lack of non-arboreal clothing. Or Helen of Troy, and the leggings that launched a thousand ships. We should therefore hike up our metaphorical skirts and jump ankle-long into a campus-wide ban of pants and leggings. Can you imagine the utopia, this land without pants? Now let’s not skirt the issue: I am not speaking of a total absence of legwear, but rather a university where all people, regardless of race, sex or creed, glory in the full modesty of ankle-length skirts. Picture the glory of ankle-length denim skirts emblazoned with the university seal, nestled between copies of Plato’s Republic and the Iliad, sold in the campus bookstore. Despite these precautions, it may be that even this would not be enough; perhaps we should remove women and their distracting leggings from academia altogether. Instead we should require, for the good of all, that they earn their correspondence MRS degrees from the comfort and safety of their own homes.
–Alexa Garcia and Kathryn Hennessy