The 14 best pick-up lines of all time

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Morgan Culbin
Ladies Man and Love Doctor

Dudes,

Ever get tired of hearing University of Dallas girls gripe that they never go on dates? I agree, it’s totally annoying. But maybe you need to try out a new tactic, a bolder way to woo your woman. I’m sharing my top-secret pick-up lines with you because they really do work. If you play it right, you’ll practically be married with kids. I’ve included light commentary in case these lines are way over your heads.

Oh, and hey there ladies,
Read on to get a sneak preview of what your crush will try out on you … and consider yourselves to be the luckiest women in the world.

1. “Wanna Cap Bar drink? You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night.”
Bros, the line is an oldie but a goodie. Women love the over-used lines: Just look at all the lines of Homer these chicks read! Be sure to get her a nice coffee – you could even go ahead, splurge and get her a large iced mocha. Why? ‘Cause she’s worth it.

2. “Cookie, can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.”
She’ll think you’re cute when you play dumb – and boy, you are dumbstruck for her! But be sure to call her an inanimate object – food works best.

3. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past again?”
That’s right. You know you’re an attractive man. Ergo, she should know you’re an attractive man.

4. “So, do you come to the Church of the Incarnation often?”
And be sure to get her holy hour.

5. “I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.”
Ron Burgundy from Anchorman knows his moves like Jagger. He wouldn’t mind if you stole this little line. It works like no other.

6. “Oh, your name’s not Helen of Troy?”
No explanation needed. Every woman wants to be Helen of Troy, c’mon.

7. “What time do you have to be back in heaven, Beatrice? That’s right, I’d go through hell for you.”
UD women eat that Core-flattery up faster than any Aramark meal. Be her Dante – but please, don’t pine over the woman for years and never let her know how you feel. Just use this line instead!

8. “Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy!”
Alright, I think it’s safe to say that the University of Dallas does not have any Jamaican undergrads. Don’t let that discourage you! Let it do just the opposite. This out-of-the-blue line will make her confused at first, but then she’ll burst into fits of giggles. Oh, you’ll be Jamaican her crazy, mon!

9. “You have the body of Shakira, the mind of Athena and the soul of Mother Teresa.”
Here, you combine three things everyone loves: 1) pop culture, 2) mythology and 3) spirituality. This would be one of those lines to save for a serious library date. Her reaction will be so worth it.

10. “Girl, my Sacred Heart of Jesus statue started beating faster when I saw you! Looks like you’re a good vocation.”
You know every woman came to UD to get her BA (probably in something useless like English or education, let’s be honest here) and her MRS – that’s a lot on the little woman’s plate. Show her your sensitive spiritual side, and she’ll be sure to show you hers.

11. “Reading John Donne’s poetry? Why don’t we study by getting metaphysical together?”
Freshmen, you’re reading those poetry packets in Lit Trad II. Try to learn lessons outside the classroom as well with a study-buddy.

12.  “Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?”
This is for you science majors of a legal drinking age. If she’s been your lab partner for years, it’s time to make a move after the lab is over.

13. “I’m an economics major, but I was wondering if you wanted to study our chemistry later.”
You’re showing her that even though you have a declared major, you love to incorporate all parts of the Core curriculum into your everyday life.

14. “You’re like a dictionary; you add meaning to my life!”
You just compared your lady with a really big book. She’ll be holding your hand within seconds.

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