Philosophy Club announces construction of New Lyceum

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Peter Antich
Wielder of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

The University of Dallas Philosophy Club announced today that it is prepared to break ground on its new campus philosophy center, the New Lyceum.

Asked to comment on the unexpected announcement, Philosophy Club president Peter Antich said, “People ask me, ‘Why is now a time to do something like this, when money is so hard to come by?’

And I think the answer is really that philosophy occupies a timeless place in the human heart. If it’s ever a bad idea to build a gigantic marble monument to thinking, then it’s always a bad idea. And it’s probably a bad idea.”

He added, “But we really needed to show up the Classics Club, and I don’t see any better way of doing it, you know, than with a giant, classically-modeled Lyceum.”

The announcement is already being met with excitement by Philosophy Club members and non-members alike.

The construction will be partially financed by donations from around the country, especially by a generous grant from the National Society for the Building of Unnecessary and Antiquated Buildings.

But, according to Antich, what really made all of this possible is the huge increase the club received in its Student Activities budget this semester.

“We never expected to receive $15, 000,” Antich said. “I’m just so glad the administration finally recognized what a well-funded philosophy club can do for this university.”

He continued, “Though, I still think it’s strange that they used the European period instead of the comma, and put it after the second zero, rather than the third. Almost looks like $150.00 that way,” Antich laughed. “But, then, it’s an internationally minded school, and we all make mistakes.”

But what sorts of activities will the New Lyceum bring to UD? One higher-up in the Philosophy Club administration suggested, “Well, I think it would be used for all kinds of things. I mean, people can go there and, you know, think. Or they can go there and talk, or maybe sit, or … well, I’m not sure what else really. I mean, I guess they could go there and not-think, or not-sit. These are all possibilities.”

The student added, “We can’t really be sure which of these possibilities will, in fact, be actualized. But, I think we can be reasonably sure that at all times, for instance, whoever goes to the center will be either sitting or not-sitting, thinking or not-thinking, and so you see there are already several things one can do, or not-do, while there. It’s really a very multifaceted, or not-multifaceted, building, and that’s what’s so exciting, or not-exciting, about it.”

Construction is set to begin on the day preceding the third day following the day that is tomorrow for any given today.
Antich summed it up: “As you can see from the design, this is really an opportunity to show what we, as a university, are all about. And I for one am thrilled to be a part of it. It’s just a very exciting time to be in philosophy.”

If you would like more information on the construction, or have concerns or suggestions, feel free to attend the Philosophy Club’s upcoming showing of the movie Inception, Tuesday, April 10 at 7 p.m. in the Upstairs Haggar Boardroom.

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