Valentine’s Day: Unrealistic women, uncreative men

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Joe Kaiser
Contributing Writer

The much-anticipated St. Valentine’s Day is finally here.  Originally a martyr’s feast day, it has turned into somewhat of St. Hallmark’s Day.  I would offer you some advice on how to make the most of this day, but the problem is, I don’t really have any expert advice to give.

As all you University of Dallas guys know, this day can be stressful, not really because we worry, but because many females around us fall victim to some Cupid-induced mania.  Add this to the fact that UD is already known for the girls being extra involved in relationships, and the stakes become very high.

This is a day that all men fear.  Those in relationships fear it even more than their single friends.  If any of you have read other students’ advice, those sad souls that are required to participate in Valentine’s Day will have to deal with getting gifts that are simple yet sincere while avoiding excessively stereotypical gifts.

The problem here that women should try to understand is that we, a vast majority of men, are stereotypical – not because we enjoy buying chocolates marked up 20 percent, but because we fear the effort of writing a sonnet in iambic pentameter.   It’s not that our girls are not special to us, but we as a gender tend to be uncreative.

As the National Institute for Valentine’s Day Studies will tell you, for every successful Valentine’s Day poem written, 19 others will fail.  Ladies, this is why we call Shakespeare a great author, because evidently he was “that” guy who on every Valentine’s Day would write gold, while others would stop by their local CVS or the equivalent in the eloquent man’s time.

Ultimately, St. Valentine’s Day is not that bad at all.  It just so happens that gentlemen and ladies have different expectations for the day.  Ladies need to bump the expectation down a little bit for their guys.  There are also those single guys who have it really easy on Valentine’s Day, because they are able to do absolutely nothing related to the holiday. I would suggest to these folks that they enjoy their complete free time or just go with the flow and be stereotypically sweet to the single ladies of UD.  I personally was tempted by a box of Star-Wars themed, very mass-produced Valentines.  And for those interested, I will hand them out to the first 32 ladies who say they like this article.

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